


Taste Test

by kaientai



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Food, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Death, Oikawa is too, Proofreading? What's that, Reader is a pathologist, and Autopsies, another soulmate au, gender-neutral
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 18:22:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12776751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaientai/pseuds/kaientai
Summary: A revolting taste in your mouth rouses you in the middle of the night, and you almost resort to chugging a whole bottle of Listerine to make it go away. But before that happens, a tang of apple cider erupts in your tastebuds, and your peace of mind is temporarily restored.In the other side of Tokyo, Kuroo Tetsurou is drowning his misery in the most disgusting drink the bartender could offer him, with a side of the best chaser in town, of course.





	Taste Test

**Author's Note:**

> ~~excuse me but i suck at titles~~ This is heavily influenced by [this](http://defensedevils.tumblr.com/post/161929731837/soulmate-au-where) post. Do enjoy!~

In your years of pursuing a degree in Biology, you eventually learned along the way that the human being's most crucial sense is their sense of smell. It's heavily linked with a single human's memories since the olfactory bulb and the limbic system are heavily correlated. That alone might make a regular joe assume that smell really is the most powerful sense that a human being can obtain. You believed in that notion for as long as you could remember, too, but that was until last night. 

Having slept considerably earlier than you normally would, being woken up at one in the morning didn't aid to your precarious temper at the time. More often than not, the reason for you being so rudely roused at this ungodly hour would be the Golden Ret you kept around your cramped apartment. He's always had a tendency to bark when he hears a car passing by outside, regardless of what time of day it is. However, in this case, your dog was sleeping soundly on the rug you kept at the foot of your bed and the only nuisance to your slumber being that _terrible_  flavor that exploded in your mouth, seemingly out of nowhere.

In hindsight, it wasn't atrocious to the point where you doubled over. You tried flushing out the taste by swallowing your own saliva, but when you've swallowed faster than the time it took for your mouth to produce the sticky liquid, the taste still lingered. With a groan, you padded blindly through the darkness of your room, trying to reach the en-suite. 

When you flipped the switch on, the fluorescent light made you flinch for a sliver of a moment. You blinked away the spots in your eyes and stuck your tongue out to check if you happened to forget to swallow the spaghetti you had for dinner. The idea sounded more ridiculous when you realize that there is absolutely nothing in your mouth. When you tried evaluating that twinge of flavor once more, it seemed to have petered out at the slightest -the strong astringent zest being diffused into a weaker taste. 

Still, you didn't appreciate that vexing relish, no matter how minimal, so you grabbed a bottle of mouthwash from your display of imported toiletries and poured a hefty amount into your mouth without a spare thought.

You gurgled for the next five minutes, eradicating anything that might've caused this inconvenience, and it seemed to work better than you initially expected. Baring your teeth in front of the mirror, you inspected every crevice for any residue, but your teeth remained the sparkling white they have been before you went to bed. A frown settled on your face, still aghast with that strange endeavor. 

However, just before you decided to catch some more Z's, the disgusting taste tormented you once more and you were about to reach out to your good ole' friend, Listerine, out of reflex, but the zing of bitterness was gradually replaced by a familiar taste... Was this apple juice? No, it had a little more spice, but you could _definitely_ taste apples. 

"What in the nine hells is going on," you whispered pathetically as you slid your body down to the bathroom floor. 

You waited -waited for the flavors to come toppling all over you once more. But seconds, then minutes, then hours passed before slumber came back to claim you in its waiting arms.

 

* * *

 

"Your soulmate's pret-ty considerate," your co-worker, Oikawa comments dreamily as he opens up the breastplate of the most recent victim of yet another Tokyo car crash. "The first time I tasted something, it was probably just as terrible as yours, but Iwa-chan didn't even bother to rinse it off. I've forgiven him, though~"

You roll your eyes. "I can't believe we're talking about this while we're doing an autopsy."

He shrugs without letting his eyes wander from the body in front of him. "You brought it up. Can you hand me that rib cutter? Thanks."

Your gaze shifts to the girl Oikawa is currently cutting up. You've long gotten over the bothersome sensation that comes along with being around a dead human body (you've been doing post-mortem for _years_ ). But this doesn't stop your mind from drifting into the could-have-beens for this poor soul. According to the report passed down to you, her brother was the one driving the vehicle. The brother survived, but this one didn't, unfortunately. What a shame. This kid could have made it as a celebrity with her looks.

You try to recall her name -because you're not very good with names, even if it was written in the report- but it's as if your brain halts all activity for a split second. In the next proceeding moment, you swear that a familiar, steak-flavored snake slithers around your tongue, causing your salivary glands to produce even more. A groan makes its way past your lips and Oikawa's eyes dart to you for a second before continuing to saw away at the withering bones of a dead girl. You force yourself to stay put. Of all the times that your soulmate could have chosen to have that Salisbury steak from that fancy restaurant at Ikebukuro, why did they have to do it now?

"You alright there?" You can hear the budding concern in Oikawa's voice. The ghost of savory gravy haunts your tastebuds, which causes you to squirm even further in your seat. Oikawa is about to put the saw down, but that's until his phone vibrates in the pocket of his trousers. Arching his brow, he removes one of his gloves to check it out. "Huh. Bokuto posted something."

You try your best to pull yourself together to be able to form coherent sentences. "B-Bokuto, as in that comedian-Bokuto?"

"Yeah. Look." He proceeds to show you what's displayed on the screen of his phone. You squint a little to read the caption for his Instagram post.

 

 **bokutoe** Out for lunch with the boys!

♡ bokutoe, kei_tsukishima, hinatatas, and 67 others like this.

 

In the picture is the aforementioned Bokuto Koutarou, looking like an owl on steroids as usual, the actor Akaashi Keiji, Bokuto's best friend, with the ever placid look on his face, and lastly is that breakout artist, Kuroo Tetsurou, who isn't even looking at the camera and is just poking at the steak on his plate...

Wait, _what_?

Before you give another thought to it, Oikawa speaks up. "Weird how Akaashi and Bokuto are in Ikebukuro, don't you think?" he asks as he spares yet another wistful stare at the girl on the autopsy bench. "They must be there to cheer Kuroo up."

"Huh? Why would they have to do that?"

He casts you a look that suggests that he just labeled you as a really dumb person. "Did you seriously forget? This girl-" He gestures vaguely to the body. "-is Kuroo Teruha, Kuroo Tetsurou's _little sister_."

 

* * *

 

You try not to let the fact that your soulmate is a hot singer get to your head. The man isn't even aware of your existence. Okay, maybe he somehow is, because when you had oatmeal for breakfast this morning, the faint bitterness of medicine teases your tongue. Out of sheer curiosity, you looked up one of those autobiography blogs about Kuroo (made by his thirteen year-old fangirls, you presume) and that's when you find out that he's allergic to oatmeal. God damn oatmeal. 

When you think about it, isn't it a little too much of a stretch for him to take anti-allergy meds because he tasted something he's allergic to? The actual food itself isn't even inside his mouth in the first place, so why the hell...?

But still. If you were going to have a soulmate, you'd never expect it to be someone famous in a million years. Just your luck, your soulmate is a grieving musician, and you only found out that he was your soulmate the night his sister died. The universe really does have interesting ways of bringing people together. However, you're pretty sure you won't be dropping by his house anytime soon, telling him, "Hey, whaddup! It's ya soulmate!" while giving him the jazz hands. You'll try to give him some space and avoid eating oatmeal for the time being.

 

* * *

 

Work today progresses rather quickly, since you and Oikawa are simply finalizing some details with Teruha's autopsy report. But since it was his turn to be the lead pathologist, he does most of the work and you're only there to offer up better wording for his sentences. 

"There," he declares as he places his pen on the table. "Finished."

A small smile plays at your lips. "Well, you wanna get some lunch?"

He shakes his head. "Iwa-chan's the lawyer for their case, remember? He's invited to the funeral today, so we're heading out...right now, actually. Wanna come with?"

You consider it for a moment, but then you remember that Kuroo might be there. Your breath hitches in your throat at the realization. Nope. You're not quite ready for the confrontation stage just yet.

"Ah, I forgot I had plans this afternoon," you reason out rather pathetically and you can see that Oikawa isn't buying your shit at all. But, being the good friend that he is, he only shrugs before placing the reports back in the manila folder. He hands them to you.

"Could you drop this off by Chief Azumane's office? I still have to get ready."

You scowl. "Why are you trying to be _fashionable_ at the funeral of the girl you cut up yesterday?"

He winks. "Why not?"

 

* * *

 

Chief Azumane's office isn't too far from the forensics department -thank God- so when you swing by to hand him the files, you take your time to engage him in small talk. 

Though he has the stature of a bear, the Chief is easily one of the most peaceful people you've met. In critical scenarios, he prefers not to exert violence of any sort as long as criminals in the picture can still be reasoned out with. In TV shows, the policeman who refused to get his hands dirtied would've been a failure but that definitely isn't the case with Chief Azumane. 

"So just pop the lasagna in the oven for thirty or-so minutes -depending on how much you're going to cook- then you're good to go," he instructs with a cheery grin.  

"All noted, Chief." You tap at the temple of your head. 

He laughs the most lighthearted laugh you've heard all day and proceeds to tell you about that one time Sawamura fell asleep while baking lasagna and almost burned their house down. You're all about hearing Superintendent Sawamura, one of the most uptight officers in the station, almost burn his own house down because he was cooking up some pasta. But then another spectre hauls your attention away from the man in front of you. You feel as if there's some powder on your lips, so you try to lick it away but the sensation wouldn't disappear. A lemony zest balanced with just the right amount of sugar teases your mouth, and wait... You can't put your finger on what this _is_ , but you know you've tasted it before...

"Whoops," the sound of the Chief bumping into his desk as he abruptly stands from his seat breaks you out of your reverie. "I just got a call. There's some thief that needs disciplining in Akiba. As much as I want to continue this conversation, we'll have to save it for later." You don't miss the slightly disappointed ring to his words, as he strides out of his office. But you're so busy trying to recall what food has the taste in your mouth, you don't even notice Chief Azumane leave the room.

 

* * *

 

Oikawa calls you as you commute back to your apartment.

"You should have come along with uuuus," your friend drawls. "It was a funeral, but their lemon squares are to die for!"

You snap your fingers in conclusion, waking up the elderly man sleeping beside you on the bus. He gives you the stink eye before settling back into his comfortable position. Lemon squares; _that's_ what they're called!

Without thinking, you agree, "I know right?"

"Huh? How do you know?"

You bite your lip. Shit. "U-Um, I heard that they got those lemon squares from the bakery near the park, hahaha. They taste really good!" 

Silence. "They were made by Kuroo's mother."

Forgoing all reason, you hang up on him.

 

* * *

 

It's been a month since you've known about the bond you shared with Kuroo, and since there hasn't been a rockstar knocking at your door for the past month, you draw a conclusion that he's yet to know who keeps on eating ice cream for breakfast. When Oikawa found out, he went into a fit, stating all the health hazards that came along with ingesting that much of a sweet so early in the morning. You really wish to tell him your reasons for your strange breakfast choice, but reluctance overshadows your honesty. Besides, it's not like you're jeopardizing your health on purpose, right? You only do it to excite a reaction from Kuroo because every time you have that delectable treat for breakfast, he counters it with bacon and eggs. 

Furthermore, you've pretty much painted a clear picture of his eating habits over the past month. Kuroo likes eating mints. He likes it far too much for your own comfort. Well, it kind of saves you from the burden of buying your own, but you really want to drink a glass of orange juice without feeling like you just brushed your teeth, every now and then. You know that he wakes up far earlier than you do because more often than not, you don't taste your morning breath. Instead, he's already eating his goddamn mints.

As mentioned before, he probably eats breakfast around the time you do. (You like to think that he's waiting to taste the ice cream on his lips before he eats his bacon and eggs, but that seems to much of a pipe dream at the moment.) He drinks a lot of energy drinks, too. From the build of his body, you wouldn't be surprised if he was actually a part-time bodybuilder or even an athlete. Other than that, he's really fond of meat, exotic burgers especially. At least once a day, you can taste a savory beef patty on your tongue, accompanied by some vegetables that you'd normally take out in your burgers, and condiments that you would rather not taste again. You let him know that you don't like it when he eats burgers by rinsing the taste off with some mouthwash, but he doesn't seem to be as lenient as he was during the first night.

Speaking of which, you're now sure that he was drinking that night. Alcohol wasn't something you enjoyed, so you steered clear of it as much as possible. So you were immensely delighted when Kuroo decided not to drink any more intoxicating substances now that he's aware that his soulmate wouldn't appreciate it. 

However, you get another bitter round of intoxication that doesn't belong to you the following night.

You've only ever been drunk once, and it was because of a beer that had the lowest alcohol content you've heard of. But you do remember the haze of intoxication bringing about both the happiest moments of your life and the most miserable of your memories. Assuming that Kuroo is experiencing the same thing, he can't really be brimming with glee, since his sister just died a month ago (and you're more than sure that he still blames himself for it). So, when he tries to drink away the sorrow and guilt that still plague his chest, you don't interrupt him via using the mouthwash solution. You let him drink all the alcohol his heart can take, until your own throat burns and your vision starts to swim. You're left wondering how this bond goes way deeper than the phantom flavors that haunt the two of you.  

 

* * *

 

"You're hiding something from me," Oikawa accuses you.

Not really capable of casting him a sideways glance, since you're focused on trying to cut a Y-shaped incision onto the torso of your newest post-mortem guest, you tell him, "If I was hiding something, what would you think it'll be?"

Silence encompasses the autopsy room, and you shudder for some reason. 

"You found out who your soulmate is, didn't you?" he guesses, and surprisingly there's no hint of hostility to his tone. He kind of sounds like a mother that figured out an innocent secret her child has been hiding. 

With a bated breath, you finally spare him a look. "It's complicated."

"You met him yet?"

"No...But I know who he is."

Oikawa nods in understanding. "Does he know who you are?"

You place your instruments on the tray beside you and contemplate about your reply for a moment. If Superintendent Sawamura is here, witnessing you purposely delaying an autopsy, he would have whopped your ass. You whisper a silent apology to the dead man on the table before training your eyes on Oikawa's. "I don't think he's ready yet."

His brow arches questioningly. "How ready can one ever be when it comes to their soulmate, honestly?"

You sigh. "You've got a point, but... I don't want to rush him."

Your friend processes your words for a moment, and when the flash of realization sparks in his brown eyes, you immediately pull your focus back to sawing off this man's ribs and getting his internal organs out. Oikawa surprises you once more when he doesn't flail about like a fish out of water, demanding you for answers. He waits patiently, very patiently. Not another word is uttered within the four corners of the room until you've analyzed what you can about the body -he died of head trauma- and stitched it back up. 

As you are washing your hands in a nearby sink, you feel a comforting hand on your shoulder.

"Iwa-chan told me he also likes lasagna," Oikawa offers you a sly smile. "Why don't you try...eating some?"

You heave a deep breath before turning off the faucet and drying your hands on your stained lab gown. You turn to him and return his grin. "That just might be a good idea."

 

* * *

   
Despite Chief Azumane sharing a rushed How-To-Make-Lasagna tutorial a few months ago, you couldn't find it in yourself to cook your own and eat it, knowing that another person at the end of the bond could very well taste your potentially horrible cooking. So, instead of splurging money to gather ingredients for the dish, you utilize the services of an Italian restaurant nearby, instead. You initially intended to drag Oikawa with you, but he apparently had movie night with Iwaizumi. You were very cool with that, but having to eat all this lasagna all by yourself seems like a heavy task, even for a bulk eater, such as yourself. 

After saying your thanks for the food, you're about to stick your fork in the dish but that's until you taste the pasta before you can even start eating it. It's the perfect blend of cheese, beef, and tomato sauce and your mouth starts to water even if the food is right in front of you. What the hell? Is Kuroo _here_?

Your eyes dart around to the rest of the restaurant, whose current occupants considered mostly of families and teenagers on dates. You nearly miss the rockstar if it weren't for his unruly hair and very noticeable outfit. He's wearing a red flannel over a white shirt, paired with loose jeans. He looks like a ranch owner, yet he still manages to look just as dashing as you already know he is. 

The two of you are locking eyes from the opposite ends of the room, and your heart is beating off the charts. To make matters worse (or better?), he begins to stand up, carrying an entire platter of lasagna in his arms, and proceeds to walk towards you. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. SHIT.

You try to act natural. Well, as natural as one can be while their hot soulmate is walking towards them. When Kuroo finally gets to your table, he showcases a lopsided smile. 

"Is this seat taken?" he asks you in a voice that sounds like velvet in your ears.

In the midst of your mild shock, you remember to speak. "Uh, no. D-Do you wanna eat with me?"

His lips stretch into a grin before he slides himself into the seat next to yours. Your face feels warm all of a sudden, and you suddenly remember the high school crush you used to have on Matsukawa. It kind of felt like this, but your heart didn't beat as wildly back then than it is now. Kuroo doesn't chow down, contrary to your expectations of him. Instead, he pulls out a container from his pocket and offers you a mint. 

"My name's Tetsurou," he introduces sheepishly. "Thanks for tolerating me."

You stare at the mint in your hand. He always chooses the brand that you're not very fond of but, nonetheless you consume it with a smile, a wave of warmth suddenly pulsing right through you. The spearmint spices up your mouth, and you only discern how much of a terrible idea that was when your eyes drift back to your lasagna.

"You, dolt!" A groan escapes your lips, and the flustered feelings from earlier disappear in a blink of an eye. "How am I supposed to eat now that you made me taste those goddamn mints again?"

He gives you an incredulous look. "You don't like it when I eat mints? Oh, shit. Sorry. Why didn't you let me know?"

For the time that's passed, it's been a mutual agreement for the both of you to resort to mouthwash when one person at the end of the bond consumes something that the other is not very fond of. But with the case of his stupid mints, there's quite a problem to that feat.

"How was I supposed to wash out the taste of mints with menthol mouthwash, genius?" you rebutt with a snarky tone.

"Couldn't you have eaten spoiled food to give me the hint?"

"You're not serious, right?"

He shrugs. "Beggars can't be choosers."

"Oh, so I'm a beggar now?"

"What? No! I'm -ah fuck. Lemme start over," he raises his hands in defense before taking a deep breath. "First off, I wanted to apologize for not looking for you right away. That night -w-when Teruha was hospitalized- I went out drinking and at my first glass, I could already feel something scraping at my tastebuds. That's when I realized. But since I was so...devastated, I couldn't spare the time to find out who you were... If you don't mind me asking, how long have you known?"

You remain silent for a good while, and you can almost see the raw discomfort on his face. With a sigh, you tell him about everything. 

He's the one who keeps his silence this time, carefully assessing every word you just told him. He didn't strike you as someone calm and calculating but your assumptions prove otherwise. You expect him to get up and bail out on you. You've known for this long, but didn't even have the guts to face him even if he was just within your reach. If you hadn't come here today, maybe you would have chosen not to meet Kuroo at all.

To your surprise (cough, relief, cough), his mouth curls into a small smile. "Man, I owe you a lot, don't I?"

You shake your head insistingly. "You don't owe me anything, Kuroo. I've been in forensics for as long as I can remember. I've dealt with lots of grieving family members. From all the years that passed, I learned that the best thing one can give them is space."

He freezes. "You're a forensic scientist?"

"Pathologist, actually." You cock your head. "You didn't know?"

He lowers his head and chuckles. "Iwaizumi only told me that I'd meet my soulmate here..."

"Iwaizumi?" you echo with incredulity. If Iwaizumi told him to go here, and Oikawa planted the idea in your head...

Your fist collides with the table and the silverware clinks at the force. A budding flame of childlike rage courses through your veins. Kuroo looks at you with sheer concern and amusement at the same time.

"We were set up!"

**Author's Note:**

> That wraps it up! I leave the rest to your imaginations fufufu~ This was really entertaining to write, honestly. Forensics is a really interesting matter to me, but I do not watch NCIS or any of those crime investigation shows, so I don't know if the terms and methods I used to convey in the story are actually correct, but if you're well-versed in the field and happened to spot some errors, feel free to point them out! Buuuut in other news, I'm very fond of this soulmate AU about the food and everything, and I just had to write something about it. 
> 
> A penny for your thoughts? Comments, kudos, and anything of the like are highly appreciated.


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